Suppose to be doing my physics report and drama script, but i dunno why i am typing this.
First day not messaging if could be helped. :(
Thought i was thinking too much, but think i am being postponed.
Hurting.
Lapsed out,
K.T.
Mark
Currently typing this in Singapore. Yehhhh suckers. I missed 3 days of school but i aint proud of it. MAN. i have been slacking off for so long in for abt a week.
hardly had any work done... :( hahahaha no worries. Came back for my SATs and gone and down wif it last Thursday. Argh i have to go hang underwear. wait. Damn. so much underwear. like a frigging mountain of it. Srsly. lols. OK. Its like 1.21am already and i am still typing this. better amke it quick.
OK. Mark.
YOU ROCK!
hahaha, srsly. i dunno if u will be reading this any time soon but if u do, i wanna u to noe that ur my reli awesome fren. U might be hard to comprehend sometimes, but a times u could be. ur quiet and stuff but deep down u are reli an awesome dude. I realize that i actually own u a great deal. I have caused u so much trouble but u still helped me. i noe sometimes i get mad and stuff and we would argue a lot and we would like fume like little girls. haha. u wouldn't come back to me and try to make it up because ur Mark u noe. But its all cool cause i noe u. U dunt like trouble, nobody does anyway wad am i saying. u would find it uncomfortable to come back to try to muddle things up because i dunno, shy? i guess yeh. but i noe that u wanna make it up reli badly anyways. Once i got pretty mad and we just stopped talking. i felt pretty bad but i just felt it was unfair that i always have make the move. haha. So i just didnt say anything. but in the end i was surprised. you made it first, but it wasnt exactly apologizing or anything, it was like just speaking to make about stuff like if a teacher said sth in class and u would tell me sth about it that u noe and i dunt. haha. smart ass.
yeh well that was reli messy. i wanted to say this but i dunno where to start and dunt have a lot of time. haha. well, i just wanna you to noe that you have always been there for me and i am very grateful for it. It was fun when we placed our heads together sometimes and talk about stuff like about god and about girls. We gave each other advice and stuff. Although so many people treat me so badly in my class that make me wanna leave the school, you never try to make me feel bad on purpose or anything. I am god blessed to have a fren like you and i am very very grateful for it. I know a lot of times i have been unreasonable and such towards you and maybe blame u for certain things that is not your fault. it was unruly of me and i want to say sorry. Haha. you deserve so much mark. I just want to tell you that you will always hold a special place in my heart. You deserve so much mark. you are a good man no matter whatever anyone say, including me at times. haha.
I just want you know that i will reli reli miss you when you are gone to Beijing and would reli look forward to seeing you again. Things would be reli bad for me when you are gone as i would have no one my age to talk to when i am down. haha. my age~ the times we had was great. swimming, badminton, basketball and all sorts. talking and scheming for girls ;) (it was mostly me anyways :P) so yeh. you... You are awesome. you are a gift from god mark. god bless you and i give you my blessing wherever you go and i pray that you will find you way to be what you and god wants: engineer. :) haha
Your buddy,
Ke You
Spoon
I am sorry.
I didn't mean to do it. I hope your mum didn't scold you. :( Haiyah. It was kinda ironic that i said i am a destroyer of things before i did it. Sorry.
This reminds me of my childhood, when i use to be a bully. People called me 暴力king, and i even thought that was cool. I thought i could shake this stupidity of mine and be more gentle, but i guess i can't. I am still rough and clumsy, but regarded more of an idiot now. :( Sorry. I hope i haven lower myself in your eyes because of what i did and my reaction to it. The second day already and i am already mentally exhausted.
I use to go for counselling for it, for those of you who didn't know. With my first form teacher at SSIS, Ms Lynn. She saved me. She helped me control my temper and i am still trying to control my roughness. I think I have changed over the years, but not enough. What else could explain the small but stupid rough reputation i have now? I wish i can change. but sometimes its just hard for me. The first day at SSIS i have already been a threat to the other kids around me. I started throwing my bag around the classroom and got into some serious trouble. I even fought my Chinese teacher, who is the current Chinese HOD.
Even in basketball, people said i am rough. But i am just playing normally! I think some other people are rougher than me, but i dunno why i am the odd one. Haha. I sound like Max in 'Mary and Max'. I tried to explain but people just dismiss me. Some shoved me, and wanted to fight me. But i couldn't explain.
But when i heard you cry like that, it struck me again how much of a brute i am. So i freaked out. I didnt mean to cause you and your mum any trouble.
This reminds me again how i bursted out in basketball practice on monday, and i realized i might have insulted timmy. I wasn't really angry, but it looked like it. I think that might be one of the reasons why i keep getting into trouble. A few times, i wished i was Mark, or even a girl. Because they are calm and steady and hardly even gets into trouble. People don't come around and just slap you in the face when you are them.
I am sorry about all this. Maybe its just because i got this flood of bad memories just coming back and broke me. I dunno. I sure hope i can stop being so clumsy and acting like an idiot. Sorry Sarah.
Omg. I am dead. Just tired. Mentally and Physically. Argh.
Pray for you Jing Yi. Hope you are well. You need to get out and walk around. You can't keep depending on others, so you need to work hard for it. Not only this, but other things too. I hope that you are cured soon.
Man. So many things to deal with, even though we have no homework. Need to sort out that S1 girl soon with the other SCs. But i have no time to talk to Ms Johnson until after excursion! Dammit. Haiyah.
Exhausted,
Ke You
First Day of the Wait
Phew. Just done with my back exercises. Oww. My left arm actually feels a little worse now.
So. The First Day. Thats right bitches I survived. Haha. How many days left now? Umm... 600+? lol well according to you that is. Seems like it could be a hard road, but some how i just seem to not feel intimidated by it. I wanted to put up the proper post up yesterday to mark the official start of the unofficial wait, but i was just too tired. Can't believe i did it eh? Wild. But now that its over, feels like there wasn't a need for it. But now be both know our feelings eh? Thats an improvement. Hahaha. You were no help at all, backing away. >:)
Haha. All the research and tension was really not needed at all. It turned out fine.
Truth to be told, I didn't really expected this outcome. But surprisingly, I am not really affected by it. Grow to love right? We can both work on this together. And its also like a test for me. I really really hope that some time in the future, I wouldn't butt out. The right girl who really likes you will wait for you right? So don't let go. :) Owww. My arm.
Haha. So March 22 is the start. And I made it to today! Yeah. Good start. Hope you are also having a good one there too. I just hope that we can work together to be finally completely honest with each other one day. Hahaha. Hope I won't become too impatient. Almost 2 years huh. You know, somehow, I think you got your math screwed up -.- haha nvm the days. My feelings tell me that it doesn't matter. Hahaha.
Sooooo. You have a dance coming up huh >:) Tempting? :D We will see. Haha. For now, work on your biology test tomorrow. Hope you score well! :)
:) Lets do this thing! :D
Love,
Ting Ke You/ Kyle Ting (KT)
Malaysia~ Truly Asia~
Back in Malaysia!
Phew. Just took long ass plane trip for 5 solid hours without any means to distract myself. So i slept most of the time and now i am not sleepy at all. My dad sent me off and i realised i was looking at me first trip to malaysia alone. no biggie. just boring.
I met Patrick when i was getting on the plane with the rest of his family. so long since i have saw them. his sis grew like... twice her height?
then when we finally go off the plane, i passed bryan and i was like HEY BRYAN! and we walked out together. Bryan! the awesom group leader at da retreat! nicee. i didnt noe he was malaysia! and he me.
so i met up wif me cousin and aunt and my cousin drove us back!. so awesome. and lucky. it started raining like nuts like the weather report said though. when we reached his house i just went upstair and gamed. until... now? mmhmm. i have no life. hahaha. i gamed so long that my chin was sore from brushing against the bed for so long. mmhmm. i need to shave. nothing else to say...
kk scrame
Berzakar Kyle. teeh.
Stop Discombobulating...
Me.
I guess thats kinda impossible now, since things had reached this stage.
Fuck?
hmm... funny history and origin that word has. 'fornication under consent by the king'. It is probably the most ever used word by now. Yay england? mm. formal to informal? ha.
Eating this heart-shaped cake thingy that my sister baked. Strawberry kinda taste.
La la. i dunno wad to do. probably should work on my geo and english now but i am still typing this shizz.
wad to do wad to do. People left and right tellin me different things. it didnt even started as a genuine thingy. just some shit rumor started.
feel like hitting a few ppl but i aint gonna. not gonna get angry again. dunt wanna ppl to see me like that. when was the last time? umm S1? wadever.
now i am in deep shit and no one to talk to. thought i did. i have always had this shitty attitude towards gals, but those who noes me noes that.
dunt think that she does. haiyah. ppl who are communicable and close are all gone and gone done themselves into another. wtf am i saying. just trying to say that everyone close changed, not for the good.
thought i could luzz this shit off my chest. but now she is caught up in this whirlpool. Bunch of dixz. Goh! (not sarah or any of her family members) wadever. should drop these stupid short cuts. someday.
I thought they would stop there. but no. now ppl from the other schools and even different continents noe. am i wrong? i dunt think so. sheesh. cant even stop them. no one takes me seriously. no one in entire fucking class. do i have to get reli worked up and cause a fucking scene for them to shut the fuck up? i sure hope not. that would mean a fair bit of paperwork for others. no use now anyways. its already deep. the damn rabbit hole. am i at fault here? any of ur businesses? wad could i have done? which side would they have taken? not mine. no one ever did. and how would i have looked if i caused a scene? ppl would have called me an asshole. its always me at fault anyways.
fine. i took it fine. i didnt trash up the blabbers. then i tried asking my close ones abt it, since its already so open, so why not? but they surprised me with their cruel answers. they noe things abt her that i dunt. and now they are fucking up my mind wif their damn words. wad. the. hell.
If you wanted to help me, tell me wad it is, instead of say no and without a god damn reason.
now i dunt noe wad it is, and i cant make judgement. wif ppl left and right sniping at me, can i have a proper normal person i can talk to in my life? its like the entire grade holds a grudge against me. even the damn teachers. then i resorted to talking to ppl from the other grade. cant i even do that? even that you have to fuck it up and destroy her.
i dunt wanna hurt anyone, and i try to do my best, but it still happened. and i cant even work out wtf i had done wrong.
come on. leave it to my own judgement.
i dun want anyone to take this to heart. but i just feel so fuck up now. to long i have endure this. ppl flinching when seeing me. i even had to write this damn post wif caution. can do nth in this damn house. tv unplugged, comp taken away, no phone, internet unplugged. and no one to talk to.
can i just decide this on my own? this has gone way too far. i had to speak up for myself. dunt take this to heart and make feel guilty because i know i havent done anything wrong. its been too long.
and so what if love her? or not? wtf.
this blog was the last resort.
what to do but just smile at the snide comments?
damn.
to think that i had to release here. haiyah.
blerghh. stupid post. but i will post it anyways. it wont stop anyways. ppl will nvr change.
Haiyah, how did this post turn so angry? This postis so messy. argh. i dunt wanna edit. too lazy. wad kinda first post is this.
Just ignore me then. pff.
bailed out,
Ke You
Latest Comments